Wednesday, February 24, 2016

Drops in a Bucket

The way I see it, we are all given 4 buckets that sit nicely inside each other. The biggest one, the financial bucket, is made of plastic- a beach bucket, I guess. Drops in this bucket are saving, smart planning, paying off debt, etc. As the drops add up, wealth is built. But what do you do if someone forgot to put the bottom on your bucket? Or if you got the one someone stepped on? For every dime you save, an expense that costs $1 comes along. I'm not talking about luxuries or wasted money. I'm talking about broken bones and transmissions....

Bucket #2 fits inside. This one, the physical bucket, is made of clay. Drops in this bucket include eating healthy foods, exercising, sleeping at night, putting your needs there so you can run at optimum level. Friends, someone has taken a shotgun to my bucket. I have had one night's sleep in the last 16 months. I'm grateful that my shotgun shells are not fibromyalgia or chronic pain or diabetes as I know so many are dealing with. But between lack of sleep and my ADHD (temporarily not under control because of the missing bottom of the first bucket), this bucket can hold no drops.

But luckily, bucket #3, the emotional bucket, fits snugly inside. This bucket is made of wood. When we take care of ourselves, treat ourselves, take a night out, paint our toes, etc, we put drops in this bucket. Some people every get the luxury of adding coats of lacquer to strengthen this bucket. Mine, however, has had the sandpaper of exhaustion and the very rough sandpaper of battling Satan for my children taken to it. I fear that the bottom of this bucket is now broken, weak, and completely worn through.

There's one more bucket, though. The metal one. The strongest one. The one that is spiritual. It's the easiest to fill & to protect. Reading scriptures, attending the temple, family home evening, studying conference talks, praying, attending church, giving service, keeping the things around you uplifting and clean. But what happens if it begins to rust? If the elements let through by the other buckets start corroding it from the outside in? How do you protect this little bucket?

I'm so weary, friends. I feel beaten. I just want a whole bucket. I don't want to feel broken. But I don't know what to do. There is nothing left in me. There is no way to repair the other buckets. This last one is the key to it all, I am sure, but there is no end to the attack on my little bucket.

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